For a year, I lived in a dream. The girl, Cynthis Ania Cailyn Simmpolk, was a total dream; imagine a stripper who could rebuild a carburetor and also knew the difference between football and soccer. We spoke the same language. It wasn't just that she was undemanding; she was a partner. When something needed fixing, she not only brought me beer but also helped with the repairs herself. It was her soul that I fell in love with.
Then came the family barbecue, at her family home on Switch Street. I was a little surprised by her family. Cynthis's mom was wearing a Metallica T-shirt and chugging beer like a college student, her younger brother was quoting some 19th-century novel, and her dad... her dad, Farrell, just looked at me strangely. The moment we were go alone to the bar after barbecue, this strangeness crystallized into a crushing reality. Cynthis sat down and said. "Mathew, we need to talk. A while ago, we had a… family incident. A thing. We switched bodies." She pointed a finger at her chest, her stunning face frozen in a grim line. "You're dating me. Farrell. With Cynthis father."
Reality buckled beneath me, a year of moments flashing through my mind, morphing into a truth that was both terrifying and impeccably logical. It was Farrell who knew the specs for the big-block Chevrolet.
"It wasn't easy for me either," she said. Shocked, I asked seriously, "How long has this been going on, when did you two actually switch bodies?" I needed to know when I stopped dating Cynthis and started with Farrell. Farrell thought for a moment, then said, "Hmm, I'd say it's been about four years since then." (Wait, four years ago? I've only been dating Cynthis for a year, so I guess I never actually dated the real Cynthis) I thought. Seeing that I'm deep in thoughts, Farrell (Cynthis?) said to me: "You know what, maybe I'll tell you what it was like."
2.
The body swap took place in a year after we moved onto this street. We had no idea what had happened, but we knew that if we told the authorities, we'd either end up in a mental hospital or on experiments, so we hid it and decided to adapt. It wasn't perfect; for example, my daughter didn't like construction work, and when she had the opportunity, she took a job in our company's administration, and apparently, she's even doing well. In the case of my mother... I mean, my wife and son, as far as I understand, they had trouble settling into their new roles, but I wasn't particularly interested in it. But getting back to myself, one of the things that most caught my attention was my much smaller height; I was several dozen centimeters shorter than before. To compensate, I started wearing high heels. It was actually quite easy. I also used my daughter's wardrobe because we thought it would take a while before we back(which didn't stop her from changing jobs). The wardrobe was quite comfortable to wear, and the handbag—oh my god, I can't believe I managed so long without a handbag. You can put anything in it, unlike pockets. However, even wearing heels didn't help much, and I was still too short. I remember the first time I went to the store to buy alcohol. I was technically too young at the time, but the owner knew my father I mean, me—so he turned a blind eye. Anyway, as I tried to reach for the wine, something that wouldn't have been a problem before, suddenly found itself out of reach. Frustrated, I didn't realize I'd pushed the can, which landed directly on my foot, causing me considerable pain. Luckily, I didn't break a toe or anything.
3.
I did quite well in high school. Maybe it was because I knew the material beforehand, so I didn't have to focus so much on it and instead, I could go to social gatherings with my friends. As for Cynthis's social life, I managed to not only maintain friendships with her friends, but actually expand them. My friends themselves were surprised by my more adventurous nature than before, but I assured them it was all just a matter of maturing; they seemed to buy it. I'm also surprised that Cynthis was so conservative when it came to her wardrobe; I quickly tried on every piece she had in stock. I also started finding guys atractive at school very quickly, so it shouldn't surprise you that you're not my first. Anyway, at first, it was just fooling around, nothing serious. Until I met Frank, by the way he lived with his mother and stepfather here in the neighborhood. I was amused by how he played the manly man, but at the same time, I could see a delicate feminine soul within him. And yes, it was with him that I had my first real relationship, I mean in my new body. We dated until the end of high school. He thought it was something more, and so did I, a little, but we decided to go our separate ways. It turns out his mother got married, and as a result, they moved to his stepfather on the other side of town, which resulted in our losing touch. Luckily, I'm single again. As for my friends, I still keep in touch; we're close friends. They themselves feel like they've become closer to me than before, when my daughter occupied this body.
4.
Of course, not everything was great. As a daughter in family, this meant I lost control of my budget. This meant that every time I wanted to buy something, I had to ask my "parents." I especially remember situation when we were at the mall and I wanted to buy a cake, but my daughter, who seemed to be taking on the role of a father too much and still wanted to control her body, had a different opinion.
Farrell: "I want that cake."
Cynthis: "No, that's out of the question."
Farrell: "Why? What do you mean?"
Cynthis: "Those calories would immediately go straight up my ass. Out of the question."
Farrell: "But a piece won't hurt."
Cynthis: "No, that's it. I already did you a favor by buying you that outfit that looks more like underwear."
Farrell: "But..."
Cynthis: "No, that's it. End of discussion."
Farrell: "Ugh..."
As you can imagine, this really irritated me. Worst of all, I had no arguments in the discussions because she was the one earning money, and even more than me, because apparently, they pay more in the administration. And I wasn't earning money; I was still underage, though that was only a few weeks away. Even then, I didn't know what to do. I'd been physically active my whole life, something I was proud of, and my body wasn't suited for any of the jobs I held, except for one, but I hadn't thought about that yet. I was still frustrated by my daughter's bossiness.
5.
5. As soon as I turned 18 again, I quickly found a good job. I should add that I was still a senior in high school at the time, and Frank was my boyfriend. No, it wasn't waitressing. You could even say I still doing that. Yes, it was stripping.
Let me explain: when I was a young man, I also started working as a male stripper. The pay was quite good, but when I got married, my wife's parents threatened to leave us nothing. So, whether I wanted to or not, I took up construction work and even liked it, although I still missed the old days, so I had no problem going back. And what if my daughter did stripping? Well, I'm her father... so I'd probably support her in that career. Although with her prudish personality, which only pretended to be libertine, I have my doubts. And does she know she works in a strip bar? Well, she knows I work in a bar and probably nothing more. She probably thinks I'm a waitress or something. As I said, she's a prude; she only had sex in my body two years after the switch. Would I want to work at the bar for a long time? Well, I've been working there for three and a half years already, longer than I did that work my previous life. It's funny because initially, it was supposed to be just a short, summer job to earn money for the cake I wanted to eat—yes, cake. I was frustrated by the fact that I had no money and couldn't eat what I wanted, and that I could only buy clothes that I was allowed to. I wanted to be a little more independent, and I succeeded.
6.
Wait, what? Are you saying I'm only thinking about cake? Listen, just because I like cake doesn't mean I don't follow the diet my daughter tells me to. On the contrary, I've even improved it. Do you think someone with a figure like that would only eat cake? Jokes aside. Okay, let's leave it at that.
7.
I remember the biggest afer was when I graduated from high school. My daughter was furious that I wasn't going to continue my education. I didn't see the reason; the school had already taught me what it should have in elementary school, and besides, my grades in high school were never very high, either in my body or in my daughter's.
Cynthis: What, you don't intend to continue your education at all? Do you know how necessary that is?
Farrell: Not at all. I've always considered it a waste of time; I mainly went there to meet my friends and Frank. If it weren't for the possibility of switching back, I wouldn't even be studying.
Daughter: There's still a possibility of switching. And you were so "good" at studying that I went from being the best student to below average.
Farrell (to himself): That's still better than I was at your age.
Farrell (loudly): No, it's been a year, there's probably no chance we'll go back to our old bodies, and besides, learning is not necessary anyway.
Cynthis: What?
Farrell: Well, look at me, I got to this place without unnecessary schooling, I was taught by the streets and experience. And I have it all right here, in my head. I can easily use it to do even better than I did in my previous life. And this time I know to use safety.
My daughter looked as if she didn't believe my words. It's no wonder, considering that all she knows about the world is from books. But I knew I was right. Besides, I still had to make preparations for breaking up with Frank that day; his family was moving, and I didn't want to waste time on a long-distance relationship anyway.
8.
You know what really irritates me about this country? No, not that, I mean, not tipping me isn't even remotely close to that level. It's about alcohol. Look, I'm 20, I've been of adult age for two years in this body, and I'm still not allowed to drink alcohol. What a stupid law, can you imagine? It's not so bad when I still buy locally because the shopkeeper knows me and thinks it's for my father (and in a way, he's right), but it's a problem when I shop in other stores. And before you say it, no, I can't ask my daughter to do that; she thinks alcohol is harmful to her health, what nonsense. I can ask my son, but he prefers different flavors than me, so it rarely works out. I remember a situation where I bought alcohol, but the store employee nagged me.
Employee: Are you sure you're over 21?
Me: What?
Employee: Are you sure you're over 21?
Me: No thanks, nah.
I tried to pretend I hadn't heard and brush him off, but he started following me, so I had to improvise and surreptitiously put down the alcohol and grab a fruit salad and fruit juice (they were quite good) to make it look like I was buying something at that store. From then on, I only buy food there, and alcohol at other stores just in case.
9.
So my next boyfriend was Domin, the bouncer from the club. He wasn't particularly active in bed, but he was a sort of replacement for Frank. We often went out. That was also the first time I slept at my boyfriend's house, and the atmosphere at home started to feel a bit stifling and restrictive for my liking. I often went with friends to various shops and meetings. However, Domin himself quickly bored me as a solo act, and I quickly started making side-dating moves to loosen up. He wasn't very smart, so he bought everything I said. His house probably was the reason I stayed with him for six months, house wasn't very big, but it was perfect for two people. The problem was that he'd previously worked for a gang and was busted, not for long; he should have been out by now, but still, for me, it meant the end of the relationship, and we broke up. I think he even understood that. So, whether I wanted to or not, I had to return home. Sure, I earn a little, but not enough to pay for an apartment. My daughter, of course, scolded me in a fatherly way, but I ignored it. Besides, what does he know?
10.
So I was single for a while. Of course, my side boys wanted something more, but I made it clear I didn't wanted with them.
I met another guy a few moths later. Unlike Domin, this one was much smarter; Mati was a businessman, after all. Unlike Domino, he didn't know about my work either, at least at first. I think he thought I was a club performer. In a sense, I am, but he thought of a different type of art. Mati, unlike Domino, had much more money and a much, much larger house; I didn't even have such soft beds at own home. Things seemed to be getting better, especially since Mati, unlike Domino, knew how to arouse a woman in bed. Unfortunately, he was also much more possessive, so he often tried to control my outings. He also wanted to meet my family (Domin never did). When we met, it generally didn't go well, and my family didn't want to know him anylonger. I could handle things like that, but ultimately, his ultimatum got the better of me. He found out I was a stripper and told me to stop. Of course, I couldn't agree to that, so I broke up with him after only two months of dating.
11. The rest of the year went by at a normal pace; I didn't have any serious relationships, and I focused entirely on work. Until I saw an ad for a soccer club, and I figured why not? I'd always enjoyed this sport, and my new body was so fit that I knew I could handle it.
Yes, that's exactly how we met. It was during our first meeting at the club. I saw a lot of handsome guys, so I didn't really pay much attention to them. But you were different; you asked me out, and you caught my eye enough that I decided to give you your number. I admit, at first I saw you as just a week-long fling, but something clicked between us. I was especially pleasantly surprised that you didn't mind me working at a strip club. I admit, I didn't fully believe you at first, so I gave you that "free pass" to see your reaction to my dancing in front of others, but you didn't mind either. You could even try a side-hustle from time to time, as long as we communicated in advance. I felt like I was starting to fall in love with you. You were smarter than Domino, but not as arrogant and possessive as Mati. At the same time, we could talk to you about anything because we had a lot of common interests. That's why, as you've probably noticed, you've been my boyfriend the longest, and I'd like to keep it that way.
12.
"Well, now you know my whole story, or at least the parts I remember. What are you going to do with it?" Farrell, or rather Cynthis, asked him. (Exactly) Mathew thought. Technically, it was Farrell, but in reality, to him, it was Cynthis. From what he understood about the previous owner of this body, she would be very different from the Cynthis he knew. The other one seemed to be some kind of intellectual with puritanical tendencies, while the Cynthis he knew was a wild party girl who loved sexy clothes, good food, and drinks, while also using her sex appeal in her job as a stripper, a job she takes great pride in and enjoys. She considers all intellectual tasks a complete waste of time and completely unnecessary. At the same time, she's quite loud, but she likes to flirt, which Mathew completely understands. He also knew she had previous boyfriends, though he hadn't known their details until now. At the same time, she's always optimistic. It's true that she has flaws, such as excessive self-absorption. He even wondered if this was a trait Farrell had before or after the body swap. However, he noticed two things in her stories: first, that she'd been with every guy for less than a year, even Frank, and second, and perhaps even more importantly, that she hadn't told anyone about the body swap. Driven by curiosity, he asked her about it, to which she replied, "Yes, I figured a year of relationship was enough to tell, especially to know where we stood. Will we continue, or is this really the end?"
Seeing my thoughts, Cynthis (Farrell?) said to me, "I'm stuck in this. But let's be honest, what we have... is the real thing, right?"
He was right. It was the best thing I'd ever had. The noise in my head finally subsided, leaving only one sharp, clear thought. I met her gaze, and the words spilled out: "I love you." A slow, triumphant smile spread across her face, like a manly, cocky grin on a goddess's lips. "Took you long enough, asshole," Cynthis muttered, closing the distance and finally kissing me.
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